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This is Evil Empire Comedy. This is funny.
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Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Reaching out for helpLast Night I received a response from our favorite millionaire cancer victim Remond Nelson! Below you will
find the newest letter from Remond. If you are new to this legacy, I will fill you in. I (Evil Empire Comedy) received a letter
in my spam box. It turns out Remond is dieing and does not trust anyone but me to invest his 25 million dollars! I responded
to him that I would. (look for previous posts about remonds original letter and my response to it. Dear Beloved Friend,
Thanks for your mail and your concern.. In my last mail to you I introduced
myself and gave you a summary of the present predicament I have found myself and how I lived my life(financial-wise).My failing
health has necessitated my present over view of life and the meaning of life itself as it relates to day-to-day living. Even
surgery which is a last resort has been done but the disease has already spread into most parts of my body.
I hope my
first mail did not embarrass you? if it did, I apologize for this. The fund in questions is privately kept and I wanted to
put it in capable hands for disbursement. Other such funds that I left to my relatives to disburse to charity were all plundered
and used for their personal purposes.
For this reason I have decided that within the confines of my hospital room and
the privacy of my computer (to which I have limited use of the internet connection) to look for a suitable person to transfer
ownership of the deposit to, and after claiming the money, disburse 80% of the $25.5 million dollars to various charitable
organizations of your choice in various countries and then retain 20% of the money for your effort. the $25.5 million dollars
is deposited in the security vault of a private finance/security company in Europe.
This is not a business proposal
and I do not expect any returns or share of the money. I am dying and I have distributed most of my earthly possessions to
various individuals, groups and organizations. This deposit of $25.5 million dollars is the bulk of what is left. It is unknown
to my other relatives. If I do not find a suitable person to disburse the funds as I plan to, then on my death the finance/security
company holding the deposit would have to notify my next of kin to claim the deposit as stipulated on the deposit agreement.
And from what I have seen of how they spent the other funds I designated for the same purpose, leaving the fund in their care
would be a colossal waste of all I have worked and lived for.
If you would be able to help me fulfill this last living
request, I would need you to get back to me on the following issues, after reading and understanding this few lines.
1.
That you are in a position to be trusted with such a large amount of fund, and that you have a heart for charity and thus
would not have any problems locating the right charity and human aid groups to disburse the fund to. It would be nice to know
what charities you have in mind to donate the money to and that there are reputable charitable organizations that would use
it for the right cause..
2. That you are willing to contact the security company holding the deposit to discuss
the terms of releasing the funds to you.
3. That you fully understand this transaction up to this stage and you
are ready to proceed under these terms.
Please send your full contact details as I requested in my first mail. I will
need you to send me your direct tel/fax number and your full postal address so I can send it to the security firm so they
can get in touch with you immediately.
I await
further communication.
Best regards,
Remond Nelson
It is funny... This
seems to be written by a different person! I also found it odd that he repeated everything he wrote in the original email,
but he does have cancer and that is likely to affect his memory. I will reply back to remond just as soon as I get the chance.
maybe later tonight! Check back soon for the on going scoop!
Peace.
Truth.
Comedy.
Evil Empire
Comedy.
6:12 pm pdt
Thursday, September 18, 2008
My letter to remondAs promised, here is the reply I sent to Remond. I agreed to set up his foundition,
but asked for his picture! I hope he sends somthing crazy. Read on and enjoy the ongoing escapades of Remond Nelson.
Hello Mr. Nelson,
I would like to start by saying you have
nothing to apologize to me about. It is not I who is embarrassed but you, good sir. The humility you must
be feeling having to reach out to a stranger must be immense. My heart goes out to you that you must suffer this horrible
disease called cancer with out the loving support of your family, and in fact under the abandonment of your family. I want
to tell you I would be honored to help you in your final request to start a foundation in the honored name of Remond Nelson.
I must tell you that while helping you, this also comes at a
difficult time in my life. I am sure you have heard of the economic crisis my country is facing and I have been hurt badly
by the real estate slump and the surging gas prices. I have been forced to move my family of 12 into a small apartment better
suited to a family of 4. Furthermore I have been forced to ride a bike rather than drive my Hummer because of the outrageous gas
prices. I assure you Mr. Nelson it is I who will be grateful to you once I have the money to support my family and drive my
Hummer.
I would like very much
to have a picture of you to put on the information of the foundation I am already planning to make. Additionally I
am in the business of motion pictures. I see in your story an image that the American people will be drawn to. I
have started drafting an epic that will share the horrors of what you have faced with the world to ensure no one has to live
the troubles you have.
Thank you
for reaching out to me as this will change both our lives, yours
Choncie Frofrenheimer
Peace. Truth.
Comedy.
OGRE
5:26 pm pdt
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
My Compliments of the Day to You.I've got an issue with our scam friend below. I mean, aside from the obvious thing that we all will shun him for (his
love of the drink, clearly). I have an issue with his "compliments of the day to you and your family". This is not
necessarily a good thing. What is the compliment of the day? How do I know you're not praising my "awesome donkey
feet" or my "fantastic facial gorge"? I don't know where you're from, so I don't know what a compliment
counts for there. I feel left out, and dear readers, I know you do too. Therefore, I've decided to post a compliment of
the day so you too can give your friends and their family the compliments of the day.
Today's compliment:
Your large features are a welcome distraction to your extremely pronounced limp!
Now go! Compliment your friends. They will love you for it and definitely not talk crap about you behind your
back!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Emergency!!!17:29:04 Holy Crap! Big
news people! Today (I checked my spam folder today, so I say it arrived today) I got an email from Simon Yi, actually the
letter is signed Remond Nelson. Either way this is a big deal! If you look aside from the poor punctuation and random
capitalization, this is a compelling argument. Poor Remond was a millionaire, then got a disease called cancer, and was lustful
towards women!! Now Remond has lost all of his money due to crooked family members, but he has Twenty Five million Five
Hundred thousand us dollars ($25.5Million) (Remonds capitalization not mine) and he wants me (Evil Empire Comedy) to set him
up a foundation under his name. It appears he doesn’t care what the foundation is for, but he will give me (Evil Empire
Comedy) "a handsome percentage of the money and also a place in heaven" Wow sounds like a fund raiser to me! I have
responded to Remond and hopefully we will hear soon about how he can be remembered forever, by way of the foundation we (Evil
Empire Comedy) set up for him. I will let you all know how it goes with Remond! I will also post my response eventually so
you can follow this huge opportunity! Below you will find Remond/Simon's letter to me. If you would also like to email
condolences to Remond about his cancer, feel free his email is "Simon.yi33@gmail.com". Ill keep you posted.
___________________________________________________________
from | <!--[if !vml]--> <!--[endif]-->SIMON YI <simon.yiI33@gmail.com> | reply-to | <!--[if
!vml]--><!--[endif]-->simon.yi33@gmail.com
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->
<!--[endif]--> | to | <!--[if
!vml]--><!--[endif]-->undisclosed-recipients
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->
<!--[endif]--> | date | <!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]-->Wed, Sep 3, 2008 at 9:09 AM | subject | <!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]-->I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE |
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| hide details Sep 3 (12 days ago) |
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Greetings
Compliments of the day
to you and your family. I am very sorry to embarrass you with this email as I did not mean to intrude in your privacy if not
for thepeculiar situation I have found myself. I have contacted you because I believe you have what it takes to carry out
the request I seek of you. I am currently suffering from a terminal disease called Cancer and my doctors have informed me
that I have a few months to live and I want to try and do something special with my life now that the end is near. Before
I was diagnosed with the disease I was a very successful businessman who made a lot of money but also lived a very rough life
filled with too much lust for women and more money.
In the course of my illness my family members have bled me
dry of nearly all my possessions and abandoned me to my fate. I presently have no friend or family as I am all alone in this
hospital.Luckily I have some money totaling Twenty Five million Five Hundred thousand us dollars($25.5Million) that I had
stashed away in a finance facility somewhere in Europe and I would be willing to donate all of it to charity. All I want is
for a foundation to beset up in my name so I would always be remembered for my good deeds in lifeafter I pass on. If you are
willing to assist you would get a handsome percentage of the money and also a place in heaven as God would abundantly reward
you.
Please get back to me ASAP so I can give you more details.
Thanks and God bless you
Remond
Nelson
___________________________________________________________
PS While I am following
this as if it were real, IT IS NOT!!! It is what is called a 409 scam, eventually Remond will ask for my bank account number.
Do not under any circumstances EVER give out bank numbers, credit card numbers, or any personal information to anyone in an
email. EVER!!! Seriously no one from a bank or your email host will ever ask for any personal info over an email. On the other
hand these people are tremendously fun to fuck with, so let the games begin!!!
After
doing a little research, This is a 419 scam not a 409 scam, I humbily aopligize to any of the Ford 409 enthusiest out there.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Who the fuck do these people think they are?You may have noticed the new commercials brought to us by the American Corn Growers Associations. The purpose
of these commercials is to inform the American people of the benefits of High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) wait no, not the
benefits, but rather to debunk the bad stuff those bastards at the sugar factory have been saying about HFCS. All these commercials
go the same way. A friendly person trys to share (Sharing? Fuck Ya! I love sharing) their product containing HFCS. The other
person apparently informed about the danger of HFCS refuses, but cannot explain why. The share-er (person who shares) Breaks
the awkward silence. They point out that there is nothing wrong with HFCS. Only that it is made from corn, is all natural,
and like sugar is fine in moderation.I have a serious issue with this. One of the commercials features a couple in the park
enjoying a picnic. The pretty lady pulls out a Popsicle and offers a bite to the fellow. He declines because of the high content
of HFCS. The Lady explains the lies of the sugar industry and the gentleman points out that the woman should have brought
two Popsicles, and we all giggle at his little joke. All I have to say is WHO THE FUCK DO THESE PEOPLE THINK
THEY ARE? YOU DON'T BRING FUCKING POPSICLES TO A FUCKING PICNIC! THEY WOULD MELT AND THE
STICKY CORN SRYUP SHIT WHOULD GET ALL OVER THE FUCKING PICNIC BASKET. FUCKING AMATURES!
11:36 pm pdt
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I'll make changes to this site on a regular basis, sharing news, views, experiences, photos...whatever occurs to
me. Check back often! This was on the site when I started it and it is cheesy and dumb, but also retro funny, so I'll
leave it.
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